Prior to my brain injury, I worked as a parish minister and I always did too much. I look back on it now and realize how unorganized I was. I could function though because I remembered what pile I put something in and could find it. Now I remember making a note about something but I can’t find the note anywhere. I end up wasting much time trying to find the note and when I do find it, I don’t have time to deal with it!
I’ve been reading “The Daily Reader for Contemplative Living” which contains excerpts from the works of Father Thomas Keating. Each day has a passage of the Christian Scripture which one can meditate on. I tried meditating on the one suggested but my mind kept remembering a different passage. “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see everything has become new.” (2 Cor. 5:17) Contemplative prayer is a new way to pray for me. I want to make sure I don’t take a passage out of context but in this type of prayer,
one meditates on a passage and lets the mind go where God takes it.
I thought about how I am a new creation now after my brain injury. I can work really hard and try to do everything I need to do and get stressed out or I can lean on my higher power which I call God. I’m trying to give up my concerns, ie an upcoming meeting of a church group where I plan to speak for one minute, this blog, my new Smart phone (Geez, these are hard to learn how to use! I’m trying to learn how to access the Internet on it as well as basic things like simply hanging up the phone!)
But I am a new creation now. I’m trying to give my worries and concerns to God. It sure is hard to let go of things, that’s for sure. But this is how I am now. God will help me and I don’t need to think I have to do it all. If I mess up a few things, that’s okay. God loves me anyway. I just need to have love and compassion for myself.