Spiritual Reflections on Living With Traumatic Brain Injury

Vulnerable to Love

January 28, 2022

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Christ says “yes” to love

Did you decide to lose 10 lbs. this year by cutting out sweets and eating healthier meals? Perhaps you plan to spend more time with your family or you promised yourself you wouldn’t criticize your spouse/partner/friend so much. Perhaps you’ve decided to rein in your temper or promised you wouldn’t put yourself down.  

I suggest you make one more resolution.  This resolution is not like the others for it is not easily defined. Vow to be more vulnerable and be open to other’s vulnerabilities.  Webster’s defines vulnerability as what “can be wounded or physically injured, open to criticism or attack (a vulnerable reputation); easily hurt, as by adverse criticism; sensitive.”

You might be asking, “Why would I want to be more vulnerable?  Being vulnerable only hurts, and why would I resolve to be in pain in 2022?”

Brené Brown defines vulnerability “as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” (Daring Greatly, p. 34 ) She also writes, “Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings,” (p.33) but it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” (Ted Talk, “The power of vulnerability”) If we refuse to be vulnerable we then deny joy, gratitude, happiness, love and a myriad of other life-giving emotions. Yes, it’s scary. We don’t want people to know what is deep inside for we’re afraid we won’t be liked, or worse.

The problem with denying vulnerability is that we begin covering up all our emotions.  God has made us in such a way that it is impossible to choose what feelings and emotions we will experience.  It’s a beautiful gift but a scary one.  And that brings us to fear.  Fear and vulnerability go hand in hand.  It’s frightening to reveal what is inside and it is much safer to hide it from the world.

I attended a meeting recently. A couple of members took the risk of being vulnerable with the others. They admitted their fear as they shared, and despite the pain, they felt relieved at being honest, vulnerable and accepted.  It helped that the other members were in a place where they could hear their vulnerability and respond in a welcoming   way.

This brings me to my final point.  If we are going to be a world that experiences joy, belonging and creativity, we have to allow space for people to bring their fears and vulnerabilities.  In order for this to happen, we must strive to be open to hearing hard things. Being open to vulnerability, sadness and grief takes time. 

We have to make choices: Is it important to get business completed or is it more important to love? I understand that often the choice isn’t so cut and dry for many times it is imperative we get our work done or we won’t get paid. I believe that it is possible to do both – perhaps not at the same time – but eventually.  Jesus Christ doesn’t value what we do but rather how we do it. Christ would give a resounding “yes” to love.

Has there been a time in your life when you’ve had to make a choice between getting business done and being vulnerable to love?  Vulnerability is difficult in our world.  When have you been vulnerable or when have you realized you couldn’t be?  Respond in the comments, if you’d like.

Did you decide to lose 10 lbs. this year by cutting out sweets and eating healthier meals? Perhaps you plan to spend more time with your family or you promised yourself you wouldn’t criticize your spouse/partner/friend so much. Perhaps you’ve decided to rein in your temper or promised you wouldn’t put yourself down.  

I suggest you make one more resolution.  This resolution is not like the others for it is not easily defined. Vow to be more vulnerable and be open to other’s vulnerabilities.  Webster’s defines vulnerability as what “can be wounded or physically injured, open to criticism or attack (a vulnerable reputation); easily hurt, as by adverse criticism; sensitive.”

You might be asking, “Why would I want to be more vulnerable?  Being vulnerable only hurts, and why would I resolve to be in pain in 2022?”

Brené Brown defines vulnerability “as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” (Daring Greatly, p. 34 ) She also writes, “Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings,” (p.33) but it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” (Ted Talk, “The power of vulnerability”) If we refuse to be vulnerable we then deny joy, gratitude, happiness, love and a myriad of other life-giving emotions. Yes, it’s scary. We don’t want people to know what is deep inside for we’re afraid we won’t be liked, or worse.

The problem with denying vulnerability is that we begin covering up all our emotions.  God has made us in such a way that it is impossible to choose what feelings and emotions we will experience.  It’s a beautiful gift but a scary one.  And that brings us to fear.  Fear and vulnerability go hand in hand.  It’s frightening to reveal what is inside and it is much safer to hide it from the world.

I attended a meeting recently. A couple of members took the risk of being vulnerable with the others. They admitted their fear as they shared, and despite the pain, they felt relieved at being honest, vulnerable and accepted.  It helped that the other members were in a place where they could hear their vulnerability and respond in a welcoming   way.

This brings me to my final point.  If we are going to be a world that experiences joy, belonging and creativity, we have to allow space for people to bring their fears and vulnerabilities.  In order for this to happen, we must strive to be open to hearing hard things. Being open to vulnerability, sadness and grief takes time. 

We have to make choices: Is it important to get business completed or is it more important to love? I understand that often the choice isn’t so cut and dry for many times it is imperative we get our work done or we won’t get paid. I believe that it is possible to do both – perhaps not at the same time – but eventually.  Jesus Christ doesn’t value what we do but rather how we do it. Christ would give a resounding “yes” to love.

Has there been a time in your life when you’ve had to make a choice between getting business done and being vulnerable to love?  Vulnerability is difficult in our world.  When have you been vulnerable or when have you realized you couldn’t be?  Respond in the comments, if you’d like.

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