Sometimes I get ideas in my head and I can’t seem to get them out. I’m aware this often happens in brain injury and I have found the best way to handle it is to stop thinking about whatever it is I’m obsessing over and do something else. This is a problem for me and I’ve learned techniques to avoid this. One of those techniques is to make myself do something else, anything else, and come back to the issue later.
However, I don’t think that’s what this is. I’m trying to listen for the voice of God which is really easy to mix up with your own. Does God want me to do something, or do I really want to do it and somehow make it out to be God’s will so I can do what I wanted to do in the first place?
This picture is a pile of books I have about brain injuries and other disabilities. I had others that were destroyed in the flood here in Asheville and I didn’t replace them. I really try not to buy books now unless I really need them since I feel bad spending money on books when my income isn’t very high and I don’t have much of an office in which to store them. For the past few months, I can’t seem to get out of my mind the idea of writing a book about TBI so I may replace some I Iost and purchase others.
I’ve read several books specifically about brain injury that were more of a biography but didn’t have very much theology in them. I feel called (is it me, or is it God?) to write a book about brain injury and include some theological thoughts. The problem is, I can’t seem to put my thoughts together in a way that makes sense. I then become frustrated.
I think what I need to do is continue thinking about it and trying to come up with some sort of structure but not to focus only on it until I’m sure this is what God is calling me to do. It’s often true I learn a lot about myself when I write. In fact, this is one of the main ways I learn about myself so perhaps writing is for me and not for a book. (Plus the publishing world is crazy right now so I may not even be able to get anything published.)
One stumbling block is access to a library or an ability to buy whatever book I wish to buy. I have some theological thoughts about the difference between healing and curing as well as “caregiver” and “care partner” but I need to do some research on it which is difficult to do when I’m not close to a theological library. I’m aware many folks get a Doctor of Ministry degree and then use their thesis as a book but I have no interest in working on this degree. There are too many obstacles and frankly, there isn’t a reason for me to get one except to write a book! So this year, I plan to pray for God’s direction on this as I try and come up with an outline.