"All or Nothing"

The picture at left is of a book by Kathleen O’Connor called Jeremiah: Pain and Promise. I’ve always disliked Jeremiah and I’ve tended to skip it because it is so violent.  The God it depicts is not a God I want to serve so I’ve ignored  it and focused on other parts of Scripture.  In the preface O’Connor writes  “It (this book) is an interpretation of aspects of Jeremiah using insights drawn from contemporary studies of trauma and disaster.”

However, when I discovered this book published in 2011, I wanted to read it.  I’ve only read three chapters but I think it will give me important insights into Jeremiah. (I’ve also disliked Paul and so I contacted folks I know who might be aware of things I can read about him as well.  But my first focus is on Jeremiah.)

Reading books and retaining information is very difficult for brain injury survivors.  When I was cleaning out my files on brain injury, I came upon some old notes I had from rehab about reading and studying a book.  It used to be I could read something and then remember it right away.  I have gotten frustrated with all the things I must do to remember now and the way I’ve dealt with it was to completely stop reading biblical and theological books.

I must say, I do have an “all or nothing” mentality.  I get excited about things I used to be able to do easily  and want to be able to do them as I could before.  I also see folks around me who don’t have a brain injury who can do these things and I often compare myself to them.

When I do a lot of intellectual thinking, I become overstimulated which then makes me tired. As I went through my brain injury rehab files, I came upon a list of things to do for recreation and to “rest the brain.”   The list suggested “listening to music” which reminded me to stop and listen to a recording I have of Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello concerto in b minor.  Again, music touches my being way more than anything else.  So I stopped and listened to it.  I felt so much better.  Perhaps I can lick my “all or nothing” mentality!