This past Saturday, I attended a retired minister’s 90^th birthday celebration.  It was at one of those huge retirement complexes just outside of Asheville.  I wasn’t too familiar with it although I have visited folks there before and always got lost.  It’s about a 20-minute drive and I was prepared with my GPS fired up. 

On my way there I prayed one of what I call “Santa Claus prayers.”  Those are prayers one prays when one wants something specific.  “God please give me a dog,’ or “God please help me do a good job on this speech.”  When I was in college performing on violin or viola, I often prayed this prayer, “God help me get through this piece without having a memory mistake.”  I played my solo pieces from memory and sometimes I would forget and make something up or worse, look at the piano part to see what the note was.   Often my prayer seemed fruitless because I had memory difficulties at times. 

On my trip to the retirement center I prayed, “God please help me get to the party without getting lost.”  I ended up going straight to the right place.  Did my prayer work?  I don’t know but I pray “Santa Claus prayers” frequently.

Prayer is more than talking to Santa Claus.  It is a way of being.   It didn’t really matter whether I got to the retirement Center without getting lost or not.  My heart and spirit were focused on a Higher Being. Prayer is focusing one’s spirit on God.

In When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Harold Kushner says he doesn’t know why folks get cancer or some other illness.  “The better question is, ‘If this has happened to me, what do I do now, and who is there to help me do it’ “God doesn’t cause bad things to happen.  God doesn’t cause me to get lost all the time.  My brain injury spatial orientation issues are to blame.

Why did I have that car accident that left me with a brain injury?  I have no idea, but it wasn’t God’s fault. I remember about two years after my accident I was trying to figure out what to do.  I planned on being a pastor again but knew I wasn’t ready and I needed more rehabilitation so I prayed. I tried a couple of different positions thinking they were the right way to help me get to the pastorate again. They didn’t work and I was very depressed. I screamed and shouted at God to no avail.

One day I got the idea to walk into the chaplain’s office at a big retirement center in Atlanta and see if they could use a volunteer chaplain.  The head of the department was there and he showed me around.  This was amazing in itself because he was so busy doing his job, he rarely had time to breathe.

After the tour, he invited me to work there alongside the other chaplains in the department.  They had a large Clinical Pastoral Education program (CPE), so the chaplains changed every year.  It was a perfect place for me, and I loved being a chaplain. In the beginning I wasn’t driving yet, but the center was a short bus ride from my apartment. Although I was an integral part of their program – leading devotional, visiting residents, and participating in worship services along with the other chaplains, over the years I realized I wouldn’t be a pastor again.  I had too many deficits – cognitive overload, overstimulation, fatigue, memory challenges and others. 

Although this made me sad, I realized that somehow God led me to that retirement center.  I was able to be a minister despite my deficits. Michael and I moved to Asheville, NC so I stopped working there.  But I’ll never forget that it was a true answer to prayer. 

So, what is prayer?  It’s talking and listening to God, but it is also action.  I had to try those two other positions before finding the chaplain’s position.  Someone once suggested we must “pray with our feet.”  Prayer isn’t just talking and listening to God its heeding God’s voice.   I prayed with my feet when I tried those two volunteer positions and then finally settled on the retirement community.

I prayed with my hands and heart when I made music with my violin.  I felt as if I was touching God’s heart when I played.  For me music is prayer.

 I would be interested in your comments because pray is complicated. It isn’t just a Santa Claus prayer. What is prayer for you?  Respond in the comments if you are so moved.