I’m in a contemplative mood these days.  I’m looking back at my past and thinking about my future.  I have much less future than I have a past! That’s hard to digest.  I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to directly serve God but at least I have some ideas.

This picture was on First Presbyterian Church’s bulletin last Sunday.  It shows a girl looking at herself in a mirror.  The theme this year at the church is Making Room.  To be honest. I don’t like the theme idea very much but that is just me.  That Sunday Patrick spoke about making room to be yourself hence the picture.

He used the story from 1 Samuel where God had rejected Saul as king.  God sent Samuel to choose a new king from Jesse’s house in Bethlehem.  Jesse parade his sons in front of him but none of them were selected.  Finally Jesse gets his son who was guarding the sheep in the fields.  He is young and dirty from his work.  To Jesse’s surprise this one – David – is selected.  God said, “ Do not look on his appearance…. For the Lord does not see as mortals see, they look on the outward appearance but the Lord looks on the heart.”

The important words are “God looks at the heart.”  Patrick spent quite a bit of time talking about the first part of life when we are often worried about appearances and whether we fit in.

He mentioned Dr. Lisa Miller saying at a conference that the leading cause of death among adolescents is suicide.  Let that sink in.  Our young people are under so much pressure today and social media doesn’t help.

He also said, “Studies show that besides adolescence, the time in life when self-esteem takes a real hit is when we pass 70.”  I think for those of us who don’t work in our 60’s, it’s another time when our self-esteem is challenged.  I’m not talking about those who choose to retire early and travel the world but those who are just living their regular lives.  I fit into that category.

I’ve said before that I’m trying to discover where God is calling me.  It’s a little like all those years ago when I first had my brain injury, I tried several things before finally deciding on volunteering at a large retirement facility.  I guess I need to try several things again.  I’m not as young and flexible as I was back then but I do have some ideas.  I just need to follow up on them.

God looks at my heart, but God also looks at my hands and feet.  I need to get going.