Last weekend I had a retreat for First Presbyterian Church at Montreat. Michael isn’t a member of the church because he attends a Society of Friends meeting.  I tried once to go with him, but I couldn’t stand the silence.  He doesn’t feel comfortable in regular churches, so I guess that means we have a mixed marriage.

I was a little worried about the retreat because often they are too mentally stimulating.  For some reason, this one wasn’t.  It didn’t start out that way though.  We had our opening dinner in a separate room from the cafeteria.  There were over 200 people there although I don’t know if they all went to that first meal. 

When Michael and I got to the room the only tables open were toward the side.  I put in my special ear plugs (vibes) which I found on a web site for those who have autism. They’re ear plugs that minimize the extraneous noise but allow me to hear folks close by.   I understand folks with autism have similar issues with overstimulation. These ear plugs are life savers.  It seems I’m often in big groups and I always wear them. I kept them in my pocket for the entire retreat, which was Friday night to Sunday at noon.

On Friday night the youth group sat at a table near us which was fine except for one thing.  They were playing a game where you must pound on the table a certain number of times.  That’s all I know about it.  The pounding drove me insane, and my ear plugs didn’t do anything to help.  It looked like a fun game, and they were having a good time.

“Uh oh,” I thought.  “I hope the whole retreat doesn’t go like this.”  Fortunately, they stopped when it was time to eat.   After dinner, I went to the restroom and got away from the noise for a while which helped.

After dinner we did icebreakers.  I’m usually not into icebreakers and I was feeling a bit worn down but I decided to play.  One of the games was “rock, paper, scissors.”  If you don’t know this game, it works like this. In groups of two, both people put their hand into a fist which is the rock.  Paper is when you put your hand flat.  Scissors are when you move your first two fingers like scissors. 

Both people picks one of the three and the two play against each other. A rock crushes the scissors – paper covers rock and scissors cuts paper.  For example, if one person forms a rock and the other person forms paper the person with the paper wins.   If you form a scissor and the other person forms a rock, the rock wins.

We organized into groups of two and then the game began.  Whoever lost cheered on the winner as they continued playing.  Whoever won that round had the losers cheering them on.  The game continued with more and more folks cheering. It felt kind of good to have all those folks cheering for me, but it got pretty loud and it did bother me, but I kept on playing. It helped me see how a crowd mentality can kick in. All you hear is the crowd and you want to keep going.

Somehow, I ended up winning a whole bunch of rounds and had a crowd of folks cheering for me.  This picture is when I won a round and put my arm up in the air in victory.  It’s a bit out of character for me but I guess crowd mentality took over.  It didn’t help my overstimulation much, but I survived. 

One thing I have noticed about my tbi challenges is I can push them pretty hard.  I’m lucky that way because many people with a brain injury aren’t able to push through.  I did have to leave before all the ice breakers were over though because I was worn out.  I returned to my room exhausted and went to bed.

I hope to write more about the retreat because it really was wonderful.  I sent the presenter an email and asked her if she would send me a copy of her sermon.  Unfortunately, I have difficulty remembering things.  Memory is a funny thing.  I learned back in my brain injury class days how memory works.  I’m aware it is much more complicated than this, but it helps me put things in perspective.

There are three parts to memory.  First you must get the information in your brain.  Then you must store it.  Finally, you must get it out.  I can get information into my head and store it but I have difficulty getting it out.  That’s why reading sermons helps so much.  I try to take notes, but I have difficulty doing that as well.  I am unable to do two things at once like listen and write.  My notes are always impossible to understand. 

There is a podcast of her sermon, but it would take me forever to go through it and take notes.  Hopefully she will send me a copy because I found it very meaningful. I really would like to reflect on it.  It was a good retreat and I’m glad I attended.