Worry wart

worryI am such a worry wart!  I’ve been a worry wart my whole life.  I don’t want to even think about all the joy worry has stolen from my life.  When I played violin, I remember spending hours and hours practicing until I got a passage just right.  However when the time came for me to perform the piece, I was often too busy worrying about the passage to actually enjoy playing the piece!  Sometimes I wish I could go back to the past to those days and try not worry so much.  However,all I can do now, is not let worry steal any more of my life.

I’ve been worrying so intensely about things I didn’t even notice the nest of finches on my front porch.  My husband Michael has been in deep thought as well so it was sort of a surprise when we noticed yesterday the nest contained five little birds.  They are almost ready to fledge which means I missed watching the mother put food in their beaks as they grew.  I’m mad at myself for missing this because I could have looked right out my front window and watched.  So again, worry has stolen me seeing an amazing part of God’s creation.

While my tendency toward worry doesn’t have anything whatsoever to do with my brain injury, all my worrying wears me out much faster now than before.  I’m sad about missing the finches but I don’t want to miss anything else God sends my way.  I can’t help remembering the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:31-33 (The Inclusive Bible):

“Stop worrying, then, over questions such as ‘What are we to eat,’ or ‘what are we to drink’ or ‘what are we to wear?’  Those without faith are always running after those things.  God knows everything you need. Seek first God’s reign, and God’s justice, and all these things will be given to you besides.”

Thinking about how I can help bring God’s justice and reign to this world is certainly more valuable than letting worry steal joy from my life.  I think I’d better go watch those finches on my front porch before they fly away.

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