Spiritual Reflections on Living With Traumatic Brain Injury

Memory

November 10, 2011

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I preached my favorite sermon Hagar: A First Person Sermon last Sunday at Circle of Mercy. I’ve preached this sermon several times and I must say, it’s a pretty good one. I wrote it when I was a student at Central Baptist Seminary in Kansas City in the early 90’s. I preached it again at Columbia Seminary in Atlanta for my senior sermon. I’ve since preached it at two other churches.

Usualy when I speak, I print the words double-spaced in HUGE type. When I spoke at Grace Covenant recently, I was glad it was short so I could get it all on one page. The copy I had of this sermon wasn’t printed very large since the last time I preached it my double vision wasn’t as bad as it is now. I figured I knew it well enough so it didn’t need to be so large. Plus it’s sort of annoying to have to turn so many pages.

It’s the sort of sermon that would be better memorized but I just can’t remember things like this now. The pulpit was set lower in order for a child to use it earlier but it was too low for me. I’m glad I knew the sermon well since seeing the words was difficult. I’m not sure what it is called but I have difficulty reading in a straight line. I always use my finger to mark the sentence so when I look up and then back down again, I know where my place is.

I have trouble remembering names. I get so irritated when someone says, “Oh, I can’t remember names either!” I know they’re trying to make me feel better but the opposite happens. I feel really alienated from the rest of society because I imagine they can remember someones name after being told it 500 times. I wish they would say, “I know it doesn’t compare to your difficulty with names but I do have trouble with them as well so I know a little bit about what you mean.”

When I go to a meeting, I always try and think about people’s names beforehand. Sometimes I write them down on a little piece of paper and put it in my pocket to look at it later. I try not to be too embarrassed about asking someones name – especially if I’ve known them for a long time – but it is hard. I believe that calling someone by name is important but I just can’t do it. I’m trying to accept my challenge in this area but it is hard.

Do you have difficulty remembering names or other things? I understand that some folks with a TBI aren’t as severely impaired with this as I am but I’m interested in your thoughts. Commenting instructions are above on the right. I cannot respond to your comments here due to a computer problem so if you’d like a response, contact me directly

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