This morning I worked out in the yard. After only an hour, I was ready to quit. I took a break by throwing a ball for my dog and then I worked some more. I didn’t work much more and I was a bit frustrated because I still had things to do outside. While the break certainly helped, I was reminded again how little I can do at one time.
I think the term is called “mental fatigue.” I have to keep switching my activities or my brain just shuts off. I haven’t worked with this a lot lately so I forgot how little I can do at one time. My workaholism is getting in the way as well because I remember all the many things I did before. Of course this wasn’t healthy for me and eventualy it would have burned me out. A neuropsychologist I once had, tried to help me see that my value isn’t in what I do but in who I am. I still can’t seem to get this into my head.
It’s complicated for Christians, however, because I believe everyone is called to serve in some way. Perhaps I need to let go of how I view the word “serve.” It doesn’t necessarily mean teaching a class, chairing a committee or participating in a meeting. It simply means helping the world and the people around me in any way I can. I do have opportunites now to listen to people in ways I couldn’t do before.
Perhaps I’ll spend some time paying attention to this instead of bemoaning how I can’t work as long as I could before. I want to think about all the little ways I can serve instead of the big ways. I believe these things are more important to God anyway.
Now that you have a brain injury, how do you serve others and the world around you? Do you feel you are unimportant or unnecessary now? Feel free to comment by following the directions on the top right or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org